Tiny Dancer
Len Wiseman and Ana de Armas try hard, but the shadow of Stahelski and Reeves loom large. Like, really large.
Ballerina
Director: Len Wiseman • Writer: Shay Hatten
Starring: Ana de Armas, Gabriel Byrne, Anjelica Huston, Norman Reedus, Ian McShane, Keanu Reeves
USA • 2hrs 5mins
Opens Hong Kong June 5 • IIB
Grade: C
Some people out there claim they can always spot the invisible edits in one-take films like 1917 or Birdman or OG oner Rope, and sure. They may be so eagle-eyed it’s obvious to them. Whatever. What’s less disputable is how obvious the work of one director versus another who took over in the middle of a production is. Where Ron Howard’s work on Solo: A Star Wars Story starts and where original directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller’s lingers is pretty clear. Same for Joss Whedon’s perk inside Zack Snyder’s murk in Justice League. To this list feel free to add Len Wiseman and stunt pro/stunt co-ordinator turned director/producer Chad Stahelski (John Wicks 1-4, 300, The Matrix, Dredd) on (officially) From the World of John Wick: Ballerina. Ballerina’s various shoots, re-shoots, post-productions, cast additions and release delays are well documented, as is Stahelski’s decision to (allegedly) re-film most of the movie without Wiseman as recently as March 2024. Fifteen months is light speed in the modern film industry, and man. Does it show, because Ballerina’s a messy bitch.
Now, it’s not utterly worthless, and it’s not without it’s clever action setpieces (eventually) but ex-Mr Kate Beckinsale Wiseman (Underworld, the Total Recall remake) isn’t renowned for creative flair that doesn’t involve vampire warrior Selene kicking doors open and oodles of PVC. Wiseman’s Ballerina is notable for low energy and uninspired action sequences, which are mos def not the hallmark of an OTT John Wick movie, and which miraculously evaporate once Stahelski comes back to work, but not even he can salvage a muddled story – revenge, child trafficking, cults, celebrity security, mystery siblings, Swan Lake – and make Joan Wick less dull.
We feel you, gurl
Speaking of Snyder, returning writer Shay Hatten (Rebel Moon and Army of Thieves) pitches Ballerina as basically an origin story that gives us a peek behind the mysterious curtain of the Ruska Roma clan that hires out its expertly trained assassins and, in the case of women (?) ballet dancers. When Eve Macarro is a wee thing of, I don’t know, 12? she watches as her father is murdered by what appears to be a cult leader-slash-master criminal (?) known simply as The Chancellor (Gabriel Byrne). She’s rescued at the morgue (?) by our beloved Winston (Ian McShane) who takes her under wing and right to the Ruska Roma hitman factory that also produces guests for The Continental, still concierged by Charon (the dear departed Lance Reddick). Eve grows up to be Ana de Armas and finally get the approval and attention of The Director (Anjelica Huston), who decides who’s ready and who’s not. In her first assignment Eve is charged with a protection detail for the rich party daughter of some dude. Seeing as the party girl is played by Girls’ Generation’s Choi Soo-young, you have to wonder if this half-baked side quest was the A-plot at one time? Of course, Eve goes off book when she gets a whiff of The Chancellor’s whereabouts from another assassin (?) who’s been excommunicadoed too. This is Daniel Pine (Norman Reedus, still playing Daryl Dixon), and he has some child with him at The Continental in Prague, and away we go with the more Wickian adventure. The final throwdown in a German Alpine village and a pair of high-powered flamethrowers is… memorable.
Ballerina falls on its ass at the most fundamental level considering we’re supposed to be all-in on Eve and her vendetta. When John Wick picked up the limp body of his puppy we let out a collective “Ooooooh sheeeeeeeit”. Despite de Armas’s best efforts Hatten’s script never gives her much to build on as a character; she remains a cipher throughout, never indicating any kind of personality beyond being nice to her fellow ballerinas, wanting to be like John Wick and angry at the Chancellor. Even her rage feels muted. She seems more mildly irritated than furious. Kill her puppy and she’s likely to go “Oh dear!” and bury the poor thing in her yard.
Things pick up in Act Three when Ballerina turns into a John Wick movie, with highwater marks in a restaurant throwdown reminiscent of the knife shop in John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum and a gun dealer’s shop that has big John Wick: Chapter 4 palazzo shootout vibes. Ironically, it’s also where Ballerina commits its fatal error by shoehorning the Baba Yaga himself into the story. It’s a questionable leap of logic to set the film during the events of Parabellum, so that John Wick (Keanu Reeves in 100% movie EMS mode), who is on the run from the High Table at this point in his timeline, would drop everything and take a detour to Germany for this gig – no matter what he owes the Director. Seriously? John has time for this? For that finger to heal? Logic aside his appearance undermines Eve and doesn’t allow Ballerina to stand on its own – and I’m saying this as a massive Keanu Reeves stan who firmly believes he should be in everything (along with Gerard Butler and Michael B Jordan). De Armas is a vivid screen presence and, as she proved in No Time to Die, has the physicality to be an action hero, but Hatten and Wiseman haven’t built any infrastructure to support her, which is crucial when her persona is far from that of Hollywood underdog, which Reeves’s was when he made the first film. It’s all very perfunctory and jarring, jumping from ultra-stylish (the John Wick Nightclub Scene should be trademarked) monochrome palettes by DOP Romain Lacourbas (The Witcher) to bone-crunching fisticuffs, many good but sadly none hitting the heights of the earlier films’ subway gun duel, car reclamation (Chapter 2) – or even rolling down the Rue Foyatier under the Sacré-Cœur. Like I said, a messy bitch. Let’s see how Donnie Yen does.