Karma, Bitch
Come on everyone. Gather ’round for some enjoyably awful, full-throated nuttiness.
I Did It My Way
Director: Jason Kwan • Writer: Phoebe Zhao, Erin Xie
Starring: Andy Lau, Gordon Lam, Eddie Peng, Cya Liu, Simon Yam, Lam Suet, Kent Cheng, Philip Keung, Hedwig Tam
China / Hong Kong • 1hr 55mins
Opens Hong Kong January 11 • IIB
Grade: C-
Don’t let that C rating up there turn you off seeing I Did It My Way | 潛行. If you’re lucky enough to be in a theatre with an engaged, boisterous audience (I was) the latest by cinematographer-turned-director Jason Kwan Chi-yiu (Chilli Laugh Story, Aberdeen, Chasing the Dragon) is absolutely hilarious. The movie has no clue how the Internet works, no clue how e-commerce works, and really no clue how recreational drugs work, but that didn’t let it stop anyone from just letting ’er rip on a drug thriller in which a criminal mastermind (Andy Lau Tak-wah) uses the “dark web” (the movies’ current favourite danger zone) to traffic in contraband. Kwan and writers Phoebe Zhao Yafei and Erin Xie Qinghua (both first-timers) do their best impression of a Chinese crime thriller, complete with total triumph over the bad guys, glory for the cops and a totally bonkers – yet straight-faced – narrative coda. Don’t for a second think anyone is half-assing it or phoning in their performances. My Way is polished and well made; production values are not the problem. But this is one for the ages, folks. Put this on the top shelf with Good Bad Movie Roy Chow Hin-yeung’s lunatic Murderer. What a double bill that would be.
The cray-cray starts with a raid on a drug transaction presided over by Chan (Philip Keung Hiu-man), a big shot in a bigger drug smuggling ring whose actual mastermind is lawyer – a lawyer, can you believe it! – George Lam (Lau). When he’s busted by intrepid cyber-crimes (huh? Shouldn’t this be vice?) detective Eddie Fong (a lusciously Cantonese overdubbed Eddie Peng Yu-yan) Chan sits patiently in an interrogation room as somehow, some way, all this informants (?) or partners (?) are wiped out, The Godfather style (oh, that’s ballsy). Then he jumps out a window. Okay. Now, in order to make a cash payment, maybe, Lam and his hacker flunky (Lau Chun-him, Anita) set up an online mall on the dark web (of course) to sell drugs, because if they don’t it’s lights out. As the Colombian (?) Generalissimo cartel guy (go-to gwailo Mike Leeder) repeatedly reminds him. By hysterically yelling “Puta!!” every two minutes. It’s a towering performance. Aiding and abetting Lam in all this is his lieutenant Sau-ho (Gordon Lam Ka-tung, actually acting, and well), who’s…dun dun dun… an undercover cop! No way! He’s so far under that not even his wife Maggie (aww, they dragged Hedwig Tam Sin-yin into this?) knows he’s with the Five-O. Anyway, after young consumers of lipstick and game gear get all excited at buying drugs (in a montage that looks not unlike a Kia commercial), Lam seems free to go off to Malaysia to marry his pregnant girlfriend, Vivian (Cya Liu Ya-se, Sakra). But alas, the Generalissimo comes for Lam, a raging gun battle ensues and Vivian is shot. No way! Oh, baby then shit gets real. And yeah, Frank Sinatra’s (and Sid Vicious’s) song “My Way” is laced throughout. Don’t ask why. I have no clue.
To say any more would be to detract from the slow dawning that you’re watching an enjoyable turkey. As the “stakes” climb the action gets more and more ludicrous: you haven’t lived until you’ve seen the zombie horror that sweeps the city after two tonnes (!) of coke/heroin/crack/meth/K/weed/E/etc, etc are gleefully purchased and consumed by every single person in Hong Kong with a smartphone (so…everyone). Grannies are strung out in alleys, salarypersons are falling over in boardrooms, sunken-eyed high school girls are toppling off buildings. It’s madness. But it’s also extremely entertaining, as the laughing and applauding from the audience can attest. The third act shenanigans are next level fuckery – there’s some nonsense about the police “hacking the dark web” (that’s an actual line of dialogue) that makes Cyber Heist look thoughtful, a baby creepier than that thing in Twilight and an airborne Rolls, I shit you not – and it. Is. Glorious. Simon Yam Tat-wah makes an appearance as Fong’s very point-y superior officer, Chung Sir, and when he and Lam get into a interrogation room dust-up you’re reminded of just how veteran both these actors are. It’s not De Niro in The Irishman levels of geriatric comedy but it’s getting there. I Dit It My Way ostensibly trades in old Hong Kong movie tropes about brotherhood, and the thin line between right and wrong, but Zhao and Xie bury any ambiguity so far beneath the “Just Say No” message even Lam’s strong performance can’t break the surface. This year’s Hypnotic has already arrived. — DEK