It Worked for Barbie!
A new version of He-Man punches way above its weight.
Masters of the Universe
Director: Travis Knight • Writers: Adam Nee, Aaron Nee, Chris Butler, David Callaham, based on the Mattel toys
Starring: Nicholas Galitzine, Camila Mendes, Jared Leto, Alison Brie, Idris Elba, James Purefoy
USA • 2hrs 21mins
Opens Hong Kong June 4 • IIA
Grade: B
You knew it had to happen; you knew Mattel Studios was going to take all the wrong lessons from the success of Barbie a few summers back. When Greta Gerwig spun a problematic mid-century toy into delicately feminist flavoured box office gold (nearly US$1.5 billion) without totally shitting on the product the suits in the C-suites rubbed their hands together and thought, “Yahoo! Open the vault!” at the knowledge of all the toys they had to mine. In some stage of production as of today are films based on Mattel’s proto-Oculus View-Master (I don’t even know), Magic 8 Ball (huh?), Hot Wheels and Matchbox (with Jon Cena coming in October, and what is the difference between the two) and a surreal, A24-branded Barney film (da fuq?). I guess the big purple dinosaur be rampagin’.
First up is the most obvious choice: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, the 1982 homoerotic, slightly bananas sword-and-sorcery adventure toy spun off into an ’80s cartoon series that explains a LOT about Gen-Xers, before it hit cinemas with a then-emerging Dolph Lundgren as He-Man. At first blush the question is: Who is this new Masters of the Universe for? But He-Man has lingered through the years, with a follow-up TV series in the 1990s, multiple iterations on Netflix, one by Kevin Smith (Revelation and Revolution) and one a GLAAD winner (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power), a string of comic book sets and at least a half-dozen video games. It’s never really gone away. In this version by Kubo and the Two Strings and Bumblebee – the best Transformers movie – director Travis Knight, everything is kept nice and light and campy and gay and self-aware and you know what? It mostly works. It’s too long; no He-Man movie needs 140 minutes, and it is cursed with that boilerplate 21st century CGI veneer all these films have. But it’s not a “dark and gritty” origin story that dives into Adam/He-Man’s daddy issues. It’s a riot of colour with just the right amount of cheekiness, and star Nicholas Galitzine’s (The Sheep Detectives) good-natured approach to objectification. He indeed has the power (shout-out to the dude in the cinema last night who demoed that).
Retro in every way
So while Knight and the costume department have deep-sixed the iconic blond bob cut, it’s been replaced with a completely acceptable Farrah Fawcett feathered look – at least when Adam Glenn frees himself from his refugee (!) status on Earth to reclaim his place as the rightful Prince of Eternia. Yes, poor Adam was sent through a trippy portal when Skeletor (Jared Leto, no shit one of the film’s best bits) and his right hand Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie, who knows exactly what film she’s in) invaded Eternia and wrested power from Adam’s parents, King Randor (James Purefoy, doing his best impression of Hugh Jackman) and Earthling Queen Marlena (Charlotte Riley). He grows up a loser on Earth, not really fitting in, considered a little kooky for insisting he’s from another world where beast-men live and that he’s looking for his giant, ahem, Sword of Power. He has a boring job in human resources he happens to be good at, a terrible dating life, a secret rom-com loving roommate and he just wants to go home.
Eternia comes to him when he does finally find the sword in a nerdy fanboy book shop (perfect) and it signals his location to his now adult bestie Teela (Camila Mendes), now Eternia’s Captain of the Guard. She comes to pick him up, they reunite with her guilt-wracked drunken dad, Man-At-Arms Duncan (Idris Elba) and save the day. Duh. Though it took too long to get there, once the action heads back to the ravaged kingdom the film finds its groove. Goofy? Fuck yeah, but it’s faithful to the original source material and in doing so puts a hilarious spin on modern masculinity, often taking the piss out of it. Adam is a klutz. He loves pink (still). As He-Man he’s jacked. That name earns him nothing but laughs – one of those laughs. But he’s also willing to talk first, fight last, and he’s emotionally intelligent.
Masters of the Universe has no business being as good as it is, the surprise of the summer so far, reminiscent of Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves for its smart, left-field entertainment value. It embraces its nuttiness (why were children watching this?) and never talks down to it, or its audience. Littler kids may be keen to check out the adventure action but MotU pulls a Pixar and actually services the adults in the room too. Hard as it is to admit, Leto is amusing as a petulant Skeletor, never quite menacing and coming off as more perpetually annoyed than pure evil – though HR Skeletor will never get old. Eternia’s warriors, ahem, Fisto (Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson), Ram-Man (Jon Xue Zhang) and Roboto (voiced by Kristen Wiig) are the source of some of the film’s skankiest comedy, obvious but funny anyway, and even when they’re not off-colour the jokes can lean more grown-up: Sasheer Zamata as Adam’s Earth boss is pitch perfect in her awkward office-speak, Teela running diagnostics on her ship is all our reaction to the bullshit answers we get with “run diagnostic” on our tech, and the heroes emerging from a smoky/dusty hallway ahead of kicking ass? Priceless. There are plenty of Easter eggs for long-term fans, it wouldn’t be a true IP film if there weren’t, but they’re woven into the fabric of the larger picture so newcomers won’t feel short-changed. However, Queen’s “Princes of the Universe” in the wake of a Highlander joke? Bravo, Mr Knight. Bravo.
Mattel clearly has high hopes for MotU; god knows they sunk enough cash into it, and the credit stingers suggest they’re banking on He-Man’s legacy to justify the investment and planning. For many it may strike a confused tone that can’t dance on the line between silly and serious, and yeah, it lacks the originality of Backrooms, and it runs the risk of getting lost in the Mortal Kombat II/Street Fighter (thankfully, October) shuffle (how many ways are we going to reference “What’s Going On?” this summer?). Above all it’s unlikely to post Barbie numbers no matter how legion Galitzine’s Red, White and Royal Blue fans are, but it was fun. And I’ll admit it. I’m down for a She-Ra: Princess of Power sequel if there’s more oiled up He-Man.