Ka-Ching!
There are little yellow butts. There are fart jokes. There are ‘falling down’ jokes. Minions say incoherent stuff. Did you expect otherwise?
Minions: The Rise of Gru
Director: Kyle Balda • Writer: Matthew Fogel
Starring [English]: Steve Carell, Pierre Coffin, Taraji P Henson, Adam Arkin, Michelle Yeoh, Lucy Lawless, Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Julie Andrews, Danny Trejo, RZA, Russell Brand
USA • 1hr 27mins
Opens Hong Kong June 29 • I
Grade: B-
All you really need to know about the long-delayed Minions: The Rise of Gru is what you see in Cityplaza en route to the theatre. A giant Minions-themed installation in the middle of a heavily trafficked shopping mall in the heart of a massive residential development loaded up with with families (it’s got maze games and a wing chun practice tree among other Instagrammable thingies for all ages) is complemented by a healthy merchandise section. It’s a rabid display of cynical Hollywood filmmaking and you know what? That shit’s going to sell like mad, and animation studio Illumination and producer/distributor Universal aren’t going to be able to keep track of the cash.
Considering Despicable Me’s modest (by comparison) US$550 million box office take was usurped mightily by the Minions as the unexpected break-out stars (an afterthought for the creative team at the time), the subsequent US$970 million and (gulp) US$1 billion hauls for Despicable Me 2 and 3 respectively – which upped the Minion presence considerably – and the US$1.2 billion for their solo debut (jezuz!), a Gru origin story with oodles of the little yellow shits was no-brainer. And for the record, Despicable Me 4 is slated for 2024.
The blond viking is Lundgren, I guess?
Those numbers also explain why Universal sat on the film since its original 2020 release date was blown by COVID and did not send it to a streamer. The filmmakers are still pandering to China in The Rise of Gru – that’s how long the film has been loitering on the sidelines. A lot has happened since the film went into production, making it irritating as well as outdated. But pandering is (was?) to be expected, and with or without it, it was only a matter of time before a little became too much. The Minions in small doses were tolerable; as the stars of the show they flirt with obnoxious (looking at you, Jack Sparrow).
But you know what else? Regardless of my disdain (in the event that was unclear) for these easily replicated blights on creativity anything I say is going to fall on deaf ears if you’re a fan – who are legion. The Despicable One himself, Gru (Steve Carell), is overshadowed in his origin story by the Minions, chiefly Stuart, Bob, Kevin and relative newcomer Otto (all voiced by Pierre Coffin), who head out on a rescue mission when Gru runs afoul of renowned villains (and role models), The Vicious 6. The 6, being vicious, turfed their leader Wild Knuckles (Alan “Argo Fuck Yourself” Arkin, Argo) after he stole a precious stone etched with the Chinese zodiac (there’s that pandering). Belle Bottoms (Taraji P Henson, Hidden Figures) now leads the gang. There are shenanigans.
Back when Hollywood thought this = another $500M from China
And judging from the loud and boisterous laughter from preview audiences said shenaniganing is hilarious. Like, really, really funny. And to be fair, there are a more than a few witty moments in Minions: The Rise of Gru. Otto’s (I think) mad race across Death Valley on a tricycle is genuinely amusing, largely due to the psychedelic camera work, which dovetails nicely with the technical superiority on display. From the opening shots of Belle racing through the streets being, uh, vicious, the artistic skill can’t be denied; the similar dense imaging Illumination brought to the Sing franchise. Every curl in her afro is lovingly detailed, as are the little details that make up the rich backgrounds.
That barely matters though as, like Gru, the artistry takes a backseat to the gibberish-spouting Looney Tunes-inspired (I swear to God I started to understand the little bastards at one point) dumbasses and their misadventures, which this time include kung fu lessons from a retired master in Chinatown (Michelle Yeoh). The top flight supporting cast – Lundgren and JCVD together again! – is serviceable, but none gets any space to show off their distinct personalities. And whoever thought some disco deep cuts were a grand idea (regardless of what modern musician is covering them) clearly got a little too into the ’70s theme, if you know what I mean. Nothing the kids these days love more than Andrea True! — DEK